Friday, January 21, 2011

Baby Hungry Me

With all my friends's posts in their walls at the networking websites about their newborns or maybe getting pregnant, it makes me feel like i want to have another baby again. My youngest is only a year old but then i can't cuddle him in my arms anymore without throwing a fit on me like i used to when he was just barely born. He now likes to run around and do his own things like playing. I want a newborn so bad that i can always hold in my arms and just keep on sleeping and sleeping and wakes up if she is hungry or wet and need her diaper changed.

When i took my five year old son to his school yesterday, he mentioned that he wants a new baby in the family. So i answered him that we do have his little brother as our baby. But he said that he wants a baby sister in the family because our little Deanne is no longer with us, he wants to have a sister. There are times that i regret that i decided i tied myself, but also thinking of all those risks i had gone through, it always reminded me that i should not wish for another one anymore or my poor kids won't see me anymore.

I talked to hubby about it if we can adopt a baby girl and he answered me a hard NO. He said that first, big possibility that if we apply for an adoption, our application will be denied because we already have kids of our own, there's lots of couples out there that don't have kids yet and wanting to have at least one. And secondly, it'll be hard for me to start all over again, to wake up in the middle of the night, and to take care of the baby. Well, i don't mind all those really, it's just the bearing and giving birth part is the most hard part for me. If hubby said NO to my idea, then his words will be respected by me. I was just hungry for a newborn that i want to have my own again.

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