I Want My Baby Sister Back

It was around past six o'clock in the morning when i heard my five year old son crying in his room and got up heading to my room. He was crying still when he came to me and hugged me, i thought he probably just had a bad dream that made him cry and woke him up. But i was so surprised when he told me that he wants his baby sister back! So i asked him why? He said because he miss her and he just simply wants her back. I was speechless and don't know what to say for i cannot find words myself to comfort him for i myself felt so sad when he said that to me. I knew for sure he dreamed about his baby sister and woke him up sad knowing that his baby sister is not with us anymore.

I composed myself and told my son that she is watching us and although we did not see her, she is with us all the time protecting us from harm or any other danger that might come. But my son did not listen to me, he wants her back physically that's what he meant. He said he cannot see her and he wants to hug her. That, made my heart melt, i cried, because i do miss my daughter too, more than much as my son misses her, but there's nothing i can do to bring her back alive.

My heart broke when i saw my son so sad and telling me how he misses his baby sister so bad. He was only three years old when she passed away, and i did not expect him to remember all that but he actually did. My son must have a good memory like what i used to have. He always tells me stories the things that he remembers what happened almost three years ago. He even remembered that i passed out and he grabbed a glass of water for me when his baby sister died. I cannot explain how i feel right now, my son is really something, he always amazed me everyday, not just because he is smart, it is also because of his amazing sharp memory.

I Am Over It

This was my little Deanne from the very day she was out from my tummy. I still can remember how lovely she was the first time i saw her, she was just like her big brother, they look so much a like when my son was born. I shed so much tears and felt unexplainable pain in my heart the day she left me. I was unable to let my life function like it was before, because of her, she left me. I tried to cheer myself up but it wasn't the same as before i had her.

But last night she talked to me in my dreams. She told me not to be sad anymore because she is now happy and she loves the place where she at right now. She is well taken cared of and have so many friends around her. She also told me that i didn't lost her, she will always be with her family no matter what. She was begging me not to be sad and let her go. She cannot just simply be happy knowing i am still grieving here. I woke up with tears in my eyes. Tears of joy, that finally i was able to talk to my little lady and got everything cleared up for me. She said that i don't have to blame myself for what had happened to her because there was a reason for it. She also told me that i have to count my blessings because that is more important than counting what i lost. She said i still have her Dad and kuya MD to take care of, and they need me most than her.

Right now, i am telling myself that my daughter is right. She is indeed happy to where she is at now. And i am letting her go because that's what makes her happy. She is assuring me that i will be happy and more blessings will come my way, even better blessings that i won't expect to have. I am very happy now that finally, i am getting over the pain and enjoy what life has to offer me. I am getting over it, getting over the pain for losing my child even though not totally but i know deep in my heart that i am well, happy and have peace of mind.