Hurt And Sad

I have some wishes and hopes back of my mind that i can never tell to anybody, not even to my partner in life, i am keeping it to myself. I guess i can rant my heartaches here since this is my own journal where i can shout my heart out without annoying someone. Right at this moment i am upset, disappointed and hurt. Although, i have the blessings that i thought i can never have, still there is problem that's beyond my control. I am just a human being that gets hurt, and i am sure everybody does get hurt like me.

It's late night here already, i wanted to go somewhere but i can't. I wanted to scream as loud as i can but i can't or people might wonder why. Sometimes you cannot just simply do the things you wanted to do because it's not gonna work out. Why do i have to feel this way? I shouldn't be like this, i should be grateful for what i have and not thinking of things that makes my heart hurt. I wanted to be happy right now but i can't. I wanted to cry and be with someone who can lend their shoulder for me to cry on, but i have no one with me. The house is so quiet, my family are asleep and i am here wide awake and my mind is so busy thinking a lot of things. I can't help it! I feel like i am about to explode anytime soon. I don't exactly know what i should do. Should i go outside or should i hide? I just don't know....